October 4, 2013 Remembering my son, John David Ross I sure do miss that smile of his ..... Five years ago today, John's heart stopped beating and his physical body ceased to exist. But his soul and his spirit live on. I know this to be true because I have felt his presence many times, and it has always been warm and comforting. John believed in God, and he believed in Heaven. He is in a realm of existence that is so peaceful, so tranquil - a place we have yet to know. God only knows that John certainly wasn't a saint on this earth, but he was a young man with Christian values that were evident by the way he lived. John believed in the "Pay it Forward" philosophy and actually lived it. He was intolerant of any form of bigotry, and he was simply kind and caring. I often wish that John cared about himself as much as he did others. For those who don't know, John was addicted to a Rx Pain Killer that gripped him like a vice. He needed serious help, and as close as he and I were, he could never tell me so I could help. Or he could have told somebody he trusted to help him to get the kind of help he needed. Had he been able, I wouldn't be writing this. To my Dear John, I do know how difficult your life had become at times, and I will always be sorry for however I contributed in that. But having you live here with Greg and I the last year of your life was so wonderful. We loved having you with us, and miss your jokes, seeing you stretched out on the couch drinking a huge Slurpee when we were watching a game or a movie - and you always had something comical to say about that. And of course, your cooking. I do remember you telling me you finally felt at home, and I was so happy for you. Regardless of how it was that your physical body left us, you are so missed and so loved. Unconditionally. Please always know that. I will love you forever, Bud, and I know we all will be together again one day. Mom, xoxoxoxo